I'm not always in the mood to be nice... Really, at times, it feels like a whole lot of work. But what I've also come to realize is that there's a difference between being 'nice' and being 'kind.' Nice is an external front; kind is an internal way of being.
So I'm working these days to cultivate kindness. Kindness is being considerate of others, being patient, using gifts and talents to help other people because their joy alone is worth it. Kindness is seeing other people even when you don't feel like looking. It's listening to their needs and wants when you'd rather be talking about your own. Kindness is cultivated.
I water kindness daily. I try to give it Nutri-grow and, every now and then, a weed comes in. I get impatient. I fall short of the mark and then I remind myself that I want as much to be seen and heard by this person as they desire it from me. So I give of myself again, not because I have to (i.e. because I'm supposed to be 'nice') but because I know what it feels like to want to be seen and if I can give that to someone, I will.
It doesn't mean I don't get annoyed at doing it. It doesn't mean there aren't days when I'd rather say, "Can you chill for a bit while I focus on me?" After all, who doesn't like focusing on themselves? But life isn't about me; it's not about you. It's about US and until I can see you and witness your life and you do the same for me, there is no US.
I love the fact that I'm becoming more aware... now if I could become more patient faster, that would be great! LOL.
