The Workaholic in Me Has No Understanding of 'Summer Break'

Summertime... I guess at some point the summer meant "break" to me but I can't really recall the last time I actually equated the two. Even on summer breaks from college, I was working on something. When I think of who I am, I equate alot of that to my ability to work. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing but I love what I do and I do what I love and that passion shows through in my work ethic.

I wouldn't say I'm at a workaholic level. With the kids with me for the summer, workaholic isn't even possible but I will say this: the workaholic in me does not get the idea of 'summer vacation'... but my children do. So I'm learning how to deal with lower levels of productivity but increased levels of fun and laughter. It's an awkward classroom to be in but, as my daughter says, "I'm lovin' it!" (at least trying to...).

Winter Solstice (Read Time: 2 min)

Today's the Winter Solstice. I spent the weekend working on a vision board, putting down my dreams and goals for 2010. They're very different than last year or the year before. Before this year, I focused on the things I wanted: cars, money, career, the targets, titles and items that seemed, at the time, to make life mean something.

This year, I've decided to focus on my state of being, what's really important to me. On my vision board is so much more than what I WANT; I've put down the state of mind I'm choosing to be in. Family is a big theme in my vision board. Having fun, feeling free, enjoying life is another big thing. Health, wealth, and happiness run through every single picture.

There are still some materialistic things on there, things that I know I'll have, scenes of life I know I'll experience but, for the most part, what I collaged about wasn't anything that I don't already possess right now. It simply was the amped up version of the life I already have... and maybe that's the gift right there. This is the very first time in my life that I've come to the realization that... nothing's missing.

It's taken 31.75 years to get here...

Stop apologizing

Looking in people's faces is an interesting thing. Stare long enough and you get to see where the imbalances are. You can look in a face that's cold, rigid, unwilling to smile and see a hard person who'd rather die on the inside then fall apart on the outside. You can look into a happy, smiling, glorious face that is so filled with joy you can barely contain the ripple effect. Their excitement makes you want to dance... and you don't even know why.

Sometimes, though, you look into someone's face and their eyes cry out in pain while they're faces press for "happy go lucky." It's the game of pretending to be what we think we ought to be so other people can pretend to be the response they think we need. Confusing, right? Right!

Why don't we allow ourselves to be... human?

Why pretend? Why play games? Why jump to conclusions? Why shy away from the "touchy" subjects?

There comes a moment when those "masks" we all wear can no longer take the magnitude of who we REALLY are. There comes a day when it isn't enough to "put on a pretty face", when life becomes more than putting on a show... and that's what so many people fight, the freedom to be who they really are AND not apologize for it.

Stop apologizing. Life is too short to walk around feeling small, playing small, living below your own light.

Nobody's perfect and, yet, everybody is. That's the duality of life. Everybody shits, everybody cries, everybody feels joy, and everybody dies. There's a circle of life and if we could simply just embrace it, love it, and live it, life would get really, really simple: just be...